misian taylor

This is how life has felt since I got back from Boston. Nationals was a clusterfuck whirlwind of drastic emotions. Go here, go there, do poems, adrenalin, competition, don’t forget to see all the beauty, constant sensorygasm, inspiration tunnel-vision, keep going, shityou’relate, money, people, so many people. Then, BAM. I’m home and I’m back at work, pulling crazy hours to make up for money lost when I was gone.

I haven’t had time to do anything (hardly enough time/energy to shower) in the last week except work. By the end of my shift tomorrow, I will have worked 60ish hours. I know that’s not a lot compared to a lot of people, but it is for me, and especially after the emotional drainage of Boston. THIS IS NOT ME COMPLAINING (or at least, that’s not supposed to be the point) — I’m just trying to set you up for the beauty that unfolded upon me tonight.

So, as I said, I haven’t had time for anything. I got into a bind with a living situation before Nationals and hurriedly moved into my best friend’s parent’s basement. (I know, all the ladies wanna date me) Four days later, I went to Boston. Since then, I’ve been working. My room has been a mess of half-opened boxes. Clothes EVERYWHERE. My floordrobe has gotten ridiculously out of hand. I just haven’t known how to deal with it. Going to work at noon and coming home at 11pm all week has left me with no energy to even sort through my dirty laundry. I have my first day off since last Sunday on Monday and I’ve been getting really anxious about having to have to spend my one day off cleaning and unpacking and hauling loads of laundry to the laundromat. When all my body and brain wants to do is sleep and read.

Long story short, my life has been a crazy beautiful wreck.

I got a text tonight when I was at work that said “You have a surprise when you get home (:” I had no idea what it could be, but I love surprises. I got home and there were brownies in the kitchen. (SCORE!) I figured those were my surprise, so I grabbed one and collapsed in front of the television and zoned out to America’s Ninja Warrior (that show needs more women competitors). I said something about needing to get out of my work clothes and Christie (my best friend’s mom) was like “just go change and then come back and hang out with us.” 

Eventually, I heaved my tired ass off the couch. I got to my room and… they had cleaned and unpacked and decorated the hodepodge wreck of a box palace I call my room. I cried. And exhaled. And sighed for so long I think part of me collapsed a little bit. MY BOOKS ARE ON SHELVES! That alone makes me so so so happy. I feel like a child having had someone else unpack for me, but on top of everything else that has been going on, I could not be more grateful. It feels so incredible to not have this massive daunting beast to deal with, having hardly anytime to breathe. I am so so so grateful and so happy to be able to relax tonight. I just might fucking cry again. Jesus. Too emotional for life right now.

Anyway. A lot of you probably don’t care. A lot of you probably stopped reading a long time ago. But. If you’re still reading, you’re probably as big a sap a I am. I’m mentally hugging you.

Feel that?

That’s love.

(via imgfave)